Thursday, October 2, 2014

Belly Laugh: Don't Take Me Out to the Ballgame, Part 2


My next sporting attempt was soccer.  For some reason, soccer didn’t seem to create the fear I often had with baseball or football. After all, you can’t tackle people in soccer and all you have to do is kick a ball around.  At least that’s what I initially thought.  I played six years of soccer.  In those six years, I made only one goal.  It was for the other team.  I can remember that day vividly.  It was sunny, with cotton-candy clouds in the sky.  My grandparents had driven all the way from Washington, Illinois to see my game in Decatur.  Mom had purchased the expensive name-brand sodas for the first time ever in my tenure with soccer as a half-time snack.  I was so excited!  Mom, always budget conscious, would often purchase the Kroger brand sodas when it was my turn for snacks.  I always dreaded my turn at snack time, as most of my teammates came from upper middle class homes and carried the finest quality snacks and soda for their snack time turn.  This day was different.  I was on cloud nine.  My grandparents were there to watch me play and I had Coca Cola, Mountain Dew and 7-UP to serve!  Life was grand!

My grandmother always carried her camera with her, as she was a journalist for several newspapers in the Peoria, Illinois area.  That day, as always, she had her camera with her.  For almost fifteen years after this particular game, one photo would be prominently hung above the towel rack in my grandfather’s bathroom.  It was a picture of my team playing soccer that very day.  I was featured, although my head was in the air, counting clouds.  My grandfather had taken a pen and circled me, with my name written above “Brent.”  Then, he circled the rest of the team, on the opposite side of the photo, with the words, “Where the Action is.” That about summed up my soccer experience.  I did love clouds.  I loved the breezes in the open playing fields.  I liked “suiting up” in my shin guards, long black socks, green polyester jersey, and of course, protective cup. My favorite part of soccer had to be half-time. I’ve always been a sucker for refreshments.

That game seemed to fly by that day.  Towards the end of the game, it happened.  We had just taken a five-minute coach-requested break to “huddle.”  After that, the referees had us switch sides, since the playing fields were never even and it was only fair to have each team take a turn playing on the opposite side of the field.  For some reason, I forgot all that happened.  I can remember running out to the field with wild anticipation. I wanted to impress my grandparents—show my Grandpa that I was really cool.  When the ball was kicked, it landed directly in front of me.  I started kicking that ball, and kicking it hard.  I couldn’t believe it!  There was no one trying to steal it from me.  I was chasing that ball with an ease I had never felt before.  Out of the corner of my eyes, I could see my parents screaming.  My Mom seemed to have her hands in the air, wildly waving, while my Dad had his over his eyes.  I thought to myself, why would my Dad cover his eyes when I’m about to make my first—ever—goal in soccer?  Chariots of Fire was playing in my head…. Da na na naaa naa… Da na na naa naa… I was invincible!  No one was going to stop me now!  Within six feet of the goal post, I took my right foot and pulled it back. With a sharp punt, I successfully kicked the crap out of that ball.  It hit the net so hard that the entire goal post frame veered back.  I DID IT!!!  I made a goal in soccer!  I was on the top of the world!  And the most important people in my life were there to experience it!  I jumped up and down.  Up and down.

For some reason, the crowd watching didn’t share my excitement. Parents sitting in their lawn chairs shook their heads.  A hush came over the entire field.  My coach had turned his face in pure disgust.  It was like time stood still.  And yet,  I still had no idea what I had done.  That was, until my teammates came running up to me. “You stupid dork! You made a goal for the OTHER TEAM!”  “What a dork!”  I had just made a goal for the wrong team.  Even my name-brand treats wouldn’t make up for this.  I would be the target of every joke for the rest of the season.  And I was.  My only goal, for the wrong team, marked the end of my soccer career.  It also cemented in my mind that I wasn’t “wired” to do sports.

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