In November of that year, my best friend, my soul-mate-from-another-mother, Brandon Hoefle, died tragically on his way to visit me for the first time in a car wreck.
So many things I wished to tell him. So many things I longed to share. Personal things. Beautiful things. Things only he could understand. In one second, all opportunities ceased. Brandon, my living angel, flew into the sunset, quietly, peacefully. Never again to be seen on this Earth.
On the day of his funeral, I stood there, crying, deeply saddened. Alone. Overwhelmed with the shoulda-coulda-woulda's, I just couldn't stop thinking of what I should have said. What I should of done. So many regrets.
Looking back, I have come to realize that Brandon transformed my entire life in his passing. And while I'd give anything I could to see him and speak with him today, his life changed mine in ways beyond comprehension. His life painted the canvas that still reveals itself today, ever vibrant, ever changing, ever illuminating the world around me.
You see, my friend Brandon was truly a living angel. Anyone who knew him would absolutely agree. He was kind. Compassionate. Empathic. Caring. Loving. Generous. Self-less. Sincere. A constant reminder of the true value of life: forging bonds with people is your greatest and most valuable legacy in life. Do it boldy. Do it carefully. But do it. Without regrets.
I've never cried so hard as I did when I attended Brandon's funeral. My entire body shook. I couldn't even look. Our mutual friends literally carried me physically through the entire process. I was in the deepest level of remorse and regret I've ever been in in my life. Brandon had been there for me in ways no one since could even replicate. He knew me. He knew my struggles. He knew who I was before I could ever admit it publicly. And yet; he loved me. Unconditionally. Relentlessly. Without fail. He wanted to see his friend happy. Content and at peace. But I could never give that to him... now.
I've never shared this publicly, but when my friend Brandon died, I said a bold prayer paying homage to the lessons I learned through him:
Never leave a path unpaved without seeing the good.
Never give up on the good that exists in any experience.
Seek the good.
The good makes US good.
Be a gold digger of the morsels of shimmering life lessons never ending.
And above everything, never allow loose ends to remain in your life.
Because loose ends may be your lasting legacy. And that's not a way to live. Loose ends destroy your spirit and harm your growth. Smooth over the rough spots. Blend the pigments on that canvas. You own the brush. Only YOU can make it happen.
Brandon taught me 25+ years ago that while chapters in life may close, and the endings may not be what you wished them to be, don't allow the ending to be just that. An ending.
All endings should be in peace. And love. Even if you walk away forever. Don't allow loose endings. It's not good for your heart. It's not good for your soul.
And quite frankly, life is truly lived when you glean the good from every experience. Good. Bad. Ugly.
The Bible speaks of a peace that passes all understanding. Sometimes, we as human beings need to put away our positions, our stands, our selfish pandering of rigid and painful stances.
Peace comes from tearing down walls. Peace comes from shattering those bricks that face you. Peace comes from never, ever, allowing loose ends to remain.
Brandon, my living angel, taught me that in his life and beyond-- life is short. You don't know what tomorrow might bring. In a second. One. Life may change.
And do you want to live for the rest of your life wishing and hoping for the peace?
Do it now. Right now. Reach out. Love. Reconcile. Be at peace.
We only get one shot at this life. And this life, as my friend Brandon said to me over and over, is "finite, Dude."
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